Topic: JOKES PAGE!!

[JASON]

POST ALL YOUR JOKES HERE

NOT TOO RUDE PLEASE,THINK OF OUR YOUNGER MEMBERS!!

THANK YOU!!

[JASON]

NEVERMIND THE YOUNG ONES..........LOL!

Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date?

So they have some place to put their feet.

NO OFFENCE TO BLONDES............LMAO!

[Onehitwonder]

well done jason , keep em going !

whats the diffence between a roll of kodak film
and a condom ?
they both capture the magic moment ....

is that to rude jason !  

[JASON]

its got me laughing..............i dont mind rique!

mine will get worse.....lol
i have a corker but i'll post it later when i have some more time to type it.......lol

[Onehitwonder]

oh goody

goody goody gumdrops- sorry just dribbling..

[JASON]

ok then here we go.......but not my best,i'll post that in a bit!

st.peter,st.paul & jesus are walking through amsterdam,st.peter turns round and says "lets go and lose our virginities"
so they all go to a brothel and st peter says to the woman "how much"?
the woman says "£25 for half an hour"
so st.peter goes in first and comes out half an hour later sweating and says to st.paul "go on get in there she is superb"
so in goes st.paul,he comes out half an hour later sweating and says to jesus "go on get in there she is amazing"
so in goes jesus and 30 secs later he comes out crying and st peter turns round and says "whats wrong" and jesus says "i put my hand down there and it healed up"

[JASON]

another?

A blonde walked into an electrical shop and said to the salesman "how much is this tv"?
he said "sorry we dont serve blondes"
she came back the next day as a brunette
she said to the salesman "how much is that tv"?
he said "sorry we dont serve blondes"
the next day she came back as a red head
she said to the salesman "how much is that tv"?
he said "sorry we dont serve blondes"
she replied "i came in here as a brunette and a red head how do you know i am a blonde"?
"because that is not a tv,its a microwave".

[Rubikscube]

Keeping with the theme  


A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool
and
orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely
quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,"Before you tell
that
joke, sir, I think it is just fair, giving that you are blind, that you
should
know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not
if
I'm gonna have to explain it five times!!"

[JASON]

whats green and smells like pork??

kermits finger
.............................................................
what has 90 balls and screws old ladies?

bingo
..............................................................

THEY GET WORSE.....LOL

[JASON]

lmfgdao @ rubikscube

[Rubikscube]

Translate for me Jason,  

[JASON]

here is my fave...........

A classroom full of kids and the teacher turns round to the class and says today we are going to find out what your mum and dad do for a living.
she turns to helen and says what does your mum do,she turns round and says she is a nurse,can you spell it,she goes n-u-r-s-e,the teacher says thats good you can go home 5 mins early,she turns round to tommy and says what does your dad do for a living,he says miss he is a sheet metal worker,she said can you spell it?
he goes s-h-i-t,she shouts stop,and she says that is incorrect,try again,so he goes s-h-i-t,again she shouts stop!
go round the back of the blackboard with that piece of chalk and practice,so off he goes.
little jason is wetting himself laughing,so the teacher says jason what does your dad do for a living?
he says miss he is a bookie,she said can you spell it?
he said NO, but i lay you 10-1 odds he writes sh it on the back of that black board.

[JASON]

laughing my fu*k**g god damn arse off

[Rubikscube]

I learn something everyday  

[Rubikscube]

It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his girlfriend are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
The zoo is not very busy. As they walk through the ape and gorilla section, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes crazy. He jumps up on the bars and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the dress. The boyfriend, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his girl teases the poor ape some more. The man suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does and Mr.Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the man suggests that she let the straps fall to show a little more skin and cleavage. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars off his cage. `Now try lifting your dress up to your thighs and sort of
fan it at him` he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips. The man then grabs his girl, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. `Now, try telling HIM you've gota f***ing headache!`