Author Topic: JOKES PAGE!!  (Read 265406 times)

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Offline luckynickd

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #825 on: March 24, 2007, 10:31:42 AM »
DONALD AND DAISY
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a
hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing
Daisy
asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said "No."
Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have
sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So Donald
went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.
"Yes, we do," the clerk said, and pulled one out from under the
counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, "Would you like me to
put
that on your bill?
"No!" Donald quacked, "What kind of a pervert do you think I am?"

Offline Pin

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #826 on: March 24, 2007, 11:22:45 AM »
 O0 :2funny: O0 :2funny: O0 :2funny: O0 

Three Brill ones there

Offline luckynickd

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #827 on: March 24, 2007, 17:11:18 PM »
O0 :2funny: O0 :2funny: O0 :2funny: O0 

Three Brill ones there

you mean bill ones!

Offline luckynickd

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #828 on: March 29, 2007, 19:32:39 PM »
Three Labrador retrievers -- one brown, one yellow and one black
-- were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they
struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and
said, "So why are you here?"

The brown lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything -- the
sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last
night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All
the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are
you here?"

The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up
flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm
inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night
when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.

"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.

The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are
you at the vet's office?"

"I'm a humper," the black lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll
hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I
want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got
out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I
just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started
humping away."

The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So,
Prozac for you too, huh?"

"No," said the black lab, "I'm here to get my nails clipped."




Offline Pin

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #829 on: March 29, 2007, 19:39:18 PM »
LOL didn't see that punch line coming  :2funny: O0

Offline Fatboy Ginge

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #830 on: April 02, 2007, 11:51:38 AM »
Apparently the Pakistan Cricket team have set a new world record.

They're now the only team to have won one match and still come home with the ashes
Pure 80's Pop. A cool relaxing website... It blaas ya mynd and meks ya feel canny!

Offline luckynickd

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #831 on: April 02, 2007, 18:50:09 PM »
Apparently the Pakistan Cricket team have set a new world record.

They're now the only team to have won one match and still come home with the ashes

 :2funny:

Offline lovely_butterfly79

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #832 on: April 02, 2007, 19:20:47 PM »
   The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the doctor learned he was about to marry an eighteen-year-old girl.
"Now, Mr. Jenkins", the doctor warned, "you should know that when a man your age marries an eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt".
The old man shrugged, "If she dies, she dies

Offline lovely_butterfly79

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #833 on: April 02, 2007, 19:23:37 PM »
  A new teacher is trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She starts her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up."

After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am," he says, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself

Offline anique

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #834 on: April 13, 2007, 04:02:10 AM »
a saloon in the old west     was packed      gambling    drinking     piano playing     when the swinging doors burst open     and in limps a little dog      with a bandage on its leg       slowly      a hush falls over the crowd     even the piano player stops playing    and turns and looks at the little dog      when the dog says     "i'm looking for the man        who shot      my paw "



I know I know..but i just love it.  ;D

Offline obsdoc

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #835 on: April 14, 2007, 08:46:39 AM »
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the
school Playground and go into the woods.

Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt June
In a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting
That he could not contain himself as he ran home and started
To tell his mother.

"Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into
The woods with Aunt June. I went back to look and he was giving
Aunt June a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then
Aunt June helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt June........"

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an
Interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time.
I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's
Car go into the woods with Aunt June. I went back to look and he was
Giving Aunt June a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt June helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt June and
Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Tom used to
Do when Daddy was in the Army."

Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you
Interrupt.

Offline Pin

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #836 on: April 14, 2007, 09:17:43 AM »
 O0

Offline luckynickd

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #837 on: April 17, 2007, 20:17:59 PM »
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of:
MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.


Offline Maverick

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #838 on: April 19, 2007, 16:32:39 PM »

 Massive Party at Virginia University Tonight...........

  Free Shots for all students!!

It's 8.15, and that's the time that it's always been

Offline luckynickd

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #839 on: April 19, 2007, 20:23:39 PM »
Maverick, you are a bad person... :police: