Author Topic: Delightful Travel Info  (Read 1352 times)

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Offline dava

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Delightful Travel Info
« on: February 16, 2009, 17:22:19 PM »
These are actual answers by the Indian tourism website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour.

Q :      Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it  rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A:      We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.


Q :      Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A:      Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q:      I want to walk from Delhi to Goa - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A:      Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.


Q:       Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India ?   ( Sweden )   
A:      So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q:       Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore ? ( UK )
A:      What did your last slave die of?


Q:       Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ?  ( USA )
A:      A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle in  the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean  which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa .  Come naked.


Q:       Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A:      Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q:       Can I bring cutlery into India ? (   UK )
A:      Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q:       Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( France )
A:       Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it.  Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday  night in Goa , straight after the hippo races.  Come naked.

Q:      Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A:      You're a British politician, right?


Q:    Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A:      Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.  All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make  good pets.


Q:       Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A:      No, WE don't stink.

Q:       I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ?  ( USA ) 
A:      Any place where significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q:       Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? ( France )
A:      Only at Christmas.


Q:       Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A:      Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
 

Q:       Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? ( Italy )
A:      As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.


Q:       Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )
A:      No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)
 
Happy Days.