Author Topic: If football teams were women  (Read 1772 times)

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Offline Rubikscube

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If football teams were women
« on: May 14, 2004, 17:21:42 PM »
ARSENAL = NAOMI CAMPBELL:
Manages to disguise her South Londonroots. Obsessed with
style and has had some problems on her travels. Can look
good but volatile under pressure.
Prone to lashing out when provoked.

ASTON VILLA = JUDY FINNIGAN
Shakier than she used to be and the cracks are increasingly
starting to show - it's hard to believe that only a few years
ago she was quite well fancied.

BIRMINGHAM= JADE GOODY
Was a bit rough round the edges but starting to look quite
tasty after a lot of work - particularly at the rear. Not always
the brightest, but surprising everyone by sticking around in
the spotlight.

CHARLTON = DENISE VAN OUTEN
Inoffensive, welcoming sort who has gone a long way on
very little resources. Slowly gaining respectability with some
good shows but a fall from grace could come any time.

CHELSEA= CATHERINE ZETA-JONES
Looked good on and off for many years without achieving
anything of note. Suddenly gets into bed with a wealthy
foreigner who splashes out a ton of cash and starts to
impress overseas

EVERTON = DEMI MOORE
Best years are long gone despite lots of surgery and
hanging-on-in-there attitude. Recent find of a star toy-boy
may improve her prospects slightly, as long as he doesn't
leave for pastures greener.

LEEDS= MEL B
Yorkshire lass who enjoyed a spell at the top but whose
taste for the finer things in life has left her out of pocket.
Recently had to sell assets.
Needs substantial investment to rediscover old form.

LEICESTER= JORDAN
Looking to get by with a minimum of talent, no subtlety and a
couple of big lads up front. Gets through a fair share of
journeymen players too.
Favourite to go down

LIVERPOOL= MADONNA
Top class back in the 80s and early 90s and blew all the
competition away.
Now living off past glories. Appears distinctly lacking in
decent new ideas and is no longer as attractive to look at.

MAN UTD = POSH SPICE
Pouting prima donna, never afraid of flashing her cash or
shameless self-promotion. Struggling to hit the heights of
1999 but still a merchandising phenomenon in the Far East.
Constantly changing her outfit.

.. and right near the bottom (AGAIN)..

TOTTENHAM = JOAN COLLINS
Hasn't done anything for decades but still acts like a big star.
Puts on a good show for the die-hard fans but best days are
behind her, despite injection of young talent.
Rubikscube

Offline Cleo

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Re:If football teams were women
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2004, 18:31:03 PM »
West Bromwich Albion - Cleo

Midlands based. Tries hard. Bows sometimes under pressure but manages to produce some scintillating entertainment on occasion when pressed. Performs well with the appropriate support and encouragement from supporters. On the way up (again)  ;D