THE COP...THE HUSBAND, and THE WIFE.............
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked
you at 80 mile per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control
at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the
passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car
doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the
driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth
shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be
thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched
teeth, Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That 's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah,
well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me
over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife
says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt
on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."
