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Author Topic: JOKES PAGE!!  (Read 263632 times)

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Offline Vauxhall Victor

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #780 on: January 19, 2006, 22:39:50 PM »
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a pub,
and the barman says "What is this, Some sort of joke?"
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Offline JASON

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #781 on: January 23, 2006, 23:45:08 PM »
Nice to see this is still going...................

Man goes to see the Doctor

"Doctor I think I have caught that bird flu that's going around"

"What makes you think that sir"

"Well.....I've started wearing make up, talking boll*cks and can't park the car"

............................................................
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"
She replied: a can of peaches.

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
He said, " What is it? "

The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."
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Offline Fatboy Ginge

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #782 on: January 26, 2006, 22:30:55 PM »
Quote from: JASON on January 23, 2006, 23:45:08 PM
Man goes to see the Doctor

"Doctor I think I have caught that bird flu that's going around"

"What makes you think that sir"

"Well.....I've started wearing make up, talking boll*cks and can't park the car"

Superb  :2funny: :2funny:
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Offline Rubikscube

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #783 on: January 30, 2006, 08:28:24 AM »
 Friendship Between Women:

  A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that
she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew about it.


 Friendship Between Men:

 A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had
slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best
friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed
that he was STILL there!
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Offline Rubikscube

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #784 on: February 03, 2006, 18:31:10 PM »
A bloke walks in a bar, barman asks what he wants to drink...

"I'll have a Sol Campbell please guv",

confused,the barman replies "whats that then?"

"A quick half,then im going straight home" .....
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Offline Fatboy Ginge

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #785 on: February 04, 2006, 21:44:24 PM »
Quote from: Rubikscube on February 03, 2006, 18:31:10 PM
A bloke walks in a bar, barman asks what he wants to drink...

"I'll have a Sol Campbell please guv",

confused,the barman replies "whats that then?"

"A quick half,then im going straight home" .....

 :2funny: :2funny:
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Offline Fatboy Ginge

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #786 on: February 04, 2006, 21:45:29 PM »
What have a KFC meal and sex got in common?

Once you 've finished with the breast all you've got left is a greasy box to put your bone in
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Offline Viscount Discount

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #787 on: February 24, 2006, 17:39:57 PM »
Raul, Ronaldo and Beckham were all at Real Madrid's canteen.
They were eating lunch and Raul said; "Tapas again! If I get
Tapas one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off the top of the stadium."

Ronaldo opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If
I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
Beckham opened his lunch and said, "Ham and Cheese again. If I get
a Ham and Cheese sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day Raul opened his lunch box, saw Tapas and jumped to
his death. Ronaldo opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

Beckham opened his lunch, saw the Ham and Cheese and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral Raul's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known
how really tired he was of Tapas I never would have given it to him again!"

Ronaldo's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos
or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the skinny arseless bint wearing
oversized sun glasses and trailer trash trucker baseball cap.
"Hey, don't look at me," said Posh, "David makes his own lunch."
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Offline Pin

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #788 on: February 24, 2006, 20:12:24 PM »
 :2funny: ;D :2funny: ;D :2funny: ;D

Good one Visc Disc O0
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Offline luckynickd

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #789 on: February 24, 2006, 20:23:33 PM »
pmsl... :cheesy:
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Offline Pin

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #790 on: February 28, 2006, 22:42:30 PM »
Not quite sure where to put this but I PMSL when I was told this

TRUE STORY

One of the girls that works with Mrs Pinny went away for the weekend, down to Southampton, to meet the new boyfriends family.
While she was there they went out of the night, found themselfs in a middle of a fight in one of the pubs thier were in, the girl asked "Shall I phone the police", he replied "Yes", then she asked "Whats the number ?  I know It's 999 in the Midlands"

The girl is 18 and not a blonde.

Well I found this funny  :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

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Offline Shreddie

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #791 on: February 28, 2006, 22:59:06 PM »
That's almost as funny as when, years ago, I quite honestly and innocently asked my mate who was going to meet her prospective in-laws in Scotland ...........

"Do you need a Passport to go there?"

She reminds me of that quite regularly  :-[
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Offline Pin

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #792 on: February 28, 2006, 23:02:38 PM »
awwwww                    :2funny:           lol@shreddie

And you were kind enough to share that embarrassing moment with us all
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Offline Shreddie

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #793 on: February 28, 2006, 23:04:37 PM »
 :cheesy:

Shred - PEC's very own Essex Blonde  :cheesy:
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Offline Pin

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #794 on: February 28, 2006, 23:13:49 PM »
Quote from: Shreddie on February 28, 2006, 23:04:37 PM
:cheesy:

Shred - PEC's very own Essex Blonde  :cheesy:

 :angel: :2funny:
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