Author Topic: JOKES PAGE!!  (Read 179862 times)

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Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1005 on: July 07, 2012, 07:06:12 AM »
I just saw a poster on a tree saying:  'This is a photograph of our dog which is missing. If found please call us'


So I phoned them up and said, "I've just found the photograph of your dog."
Happy Days.

Offline obsdoc

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1006 on: July 07, 2012, 07:48:14 AM »
I just saw a poster on a tree saying:  'This is a photograph of our dog which is missing. If found please call us'


So I phoned them up and said, "I've just found the photograph of your dog."

 ::)

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1007 on: July 30, 2012, 12:50:53 PM »
'You sure you want this? When I'm done you won't be able to sit down for weeks.'

She nodded.

'OK' I said, putting the 3-piece suite on Ebay.
Happy Days.

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1008 on: August 29, 2012, 14:35:36 PM »
I went on a blind date to an expensive restaurant last night.

She was a 42 year old woman with six kids.

"No offence," I said, "But I thought it would just be the two of us?"
Happy Days.

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1009 on: October 01, 2012, 12:33:32 PM »
I can't believe how strong the winds were last night.

I nipped out to get my wife some milk and got blown into the  pub.
Happy Days.

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1010 on: February 16, 2013, 13:35:00 PM »
I've burnt my burger. I shall name it Black Beauty!
Happy Days.

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1011 on: February 16, 2013, 13:35:28 PM »
I see what Pistorius is doing. He is going to jail for 25 year and when he gets released...Bang! President of South Africa. That's how it works over there, right?
Happy Days.

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1012 on: February 16, 2013, 13:36:16 PM »
I treated the wife out to an amazing dinner last night and, to make it all special, I even had a guitarist play us a song as we ate.

Halfway through, I looked into her eyes and said, "Tell me this isn't the best evening you've ever had."

"It's nuts," she replied, throwing her kebab in the gutter. "Just give the busker some change so we can get off the bloody pavement."
Happy Days.

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1013 on: February 16, 2013, 13:39:40 PM »
Oscar Pistorius is apparently on "Suicide Watch"

I don't know why they are bothering. There is a simple solution to stop him hanging himself.

Fit longer legs.
Happy Days.

Offline dava

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Re: JOKES PAGE!!
« Reply #1014 on: April 06, 2013, 09:05:30 AM »
Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?

2 across. "Where they nailed Jesus."
Happy Days.