Author Topic: Terror alert !!  (Read 930 times)

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Offline Shytot

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Terror alert !!
« on: November 29, 2005, 08:25:22 AM »
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France
are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent
fire that destroyed France's principal white flag manufacturing
facility,effectively paralyzing their military.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. The
Italians have increased their alert level from "Shouting Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels
remain,"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state, from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs".  They have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone from
"Isolationist" to "Find Somewhere Else in the Middle East Ripe for
Regime Change". Their remaining, higher alert states are "Take on the
World" and "Ask the British for Help".

Finally, here in the UK, we've gone from "Pretend Nothing's Happening" to
"Make Another Cup of Tea". Our higher levels are "Remain Resolutely
Cheerful" and "Win". In parliament today, the British attitude level was
raised from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, it may be raised yet
again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been at
"A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran
out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody
Nuisance". The last time the "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
issued was during the Great Fire, in 1666.