Out on her royal yacht the Queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied
a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very
large shark. Through her binoculars she could see it was Cristiano
Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20
foot shark!
The Queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor
man, but she knew the yachts top speed would never get them there in
time.
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white tops
sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harthingy
into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and
pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to
death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat
along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they
heard frantic calling ...... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.
On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and
said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the
England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup. But I see that the
England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for
sportsmanship to other countries."
She knighted them and sailed away.
As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!"
"That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and
knows everything about our country."
"Well," Rooney replied, "she knows F** all about shark fishing. How's
the bait holding up ?"
