Don't understand why you had to remove the GFX card to get it all working as the webcam and GFX card system are related in such much as the webcam software uses the overlay function of the graphic drivers.
Anyways, if it's working now and everything is behaving as you want it to then that's all that matters.
The only way I can think of stopping the obscene e-mails is to create a list of keywords to block (I don't use MSM so can't tell you how but it should be easy enough.)
You may want to consider using other software - CoffeeCup is supposed to be good as is VisionGS Private Edition but these work using webspace rather than 'direct' communication. They also have more options than you can shake a stick at so aren't for the un-initiated.
Software called HCAM may be a good idea. Here's a review...
The MyUsedBook website automatically connects visitors with your webcam. You create a free account at the site and your webcam is (optionally) added to a directory. Visitors then just connect the the MyUsed Book site and select you camera. Its possible to block anyone you want and specify the amount of users. By having another window open you can have both a send and receive video and audio link.
www.myusedbook.com Don't know if it's suitable for you as I just read about it but if you search around (Google?) you'll find better answers to you MSM question and/or more appropriate software.
Also, try
http://www.cdrom-guide.com/cdindex.cgi for computer related problems. You usually find/receive an answer to any technical or software problem here.